Every morning I go through the struggle with my son, Sebastian - the morning rush to school. Sebastian, put on your clothes, eat your breakfast, brush your teeth, put on your shoes. It is a daily aggravation for us. I expect him to gets ready on time, so that I don't have to rush him. The worst of the mornings is that I turn into this person that I don't want to be. Most parents probably know what I am talking about, but the problem obviously is not him (he is only eight), but maybe my expectations.
I expect that he does everything without me nagging him.
I found this post by Royale Scuderi on expectations that were helpful to me:
- Expectations exceeded bring good feelings
- Expectations unrealized bring bad feelings
- Expectations met bring nothing but more expectation
Instead of expecting Sebastian to do everything "right" in the morning, we are trying a morning agreement. We discussed that we both don't want to be late for school and that we can agree on a few basic things to make our mornings more pleasant and get us to school in time. We are making an agreement of mutual promises. Sebastian understands the importance of promises and is big on keeping them, because he wants me to keep mine :-)
I am sure that our morning will not be completely changed, but maybe my expectations will change and in turn the mornings will be a little more sane.
Steve:
Parenting can be one the the most thought-provoking, disturbing, frustrating, gratifying and transcendent of all life's challenges. I am a single father of 4: 16, 14, 12 and 10; f/m/f/m.
It's a marathon as opposed to a race; I applaud the reasoning you shared with Sebastian, and hope that "promises made/kept" bode well for more sanity in the morning!
With that said, I've two quick thoughts, both of which go hand-in-hand:
1. Choose your battles and let the small things go;
2. Be strong.
Both are easier said than done, but if adopted (and with consistency!), provide more smiles and less...agita!
Posted by: Dean DelTosta | June 21, 2011 at 12:01 AM